Speed 'friending' events help platonic pals meet

+ Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player Open Navigation Menu --> Newsletters NPR Shop Close Navigation Menu Home News Expand/collapse submenu for News National World Politics Business Health Science Climate Race Culture Expand/collapse submenu for Culture Books Movies Television Pop Culture Food Art & Design Performing Arts Life Kit Gaming Music Expand/collapse submenu for Music Tiny Desk New Music Friday All Songs Considered Music Features Live Sessions The Best Music of 2025 Podcasts & Shows Expand/collapse submenu for Podcasts & Shows Daily Morning Edition Weekend Edition Saturday Weekend Edition Sunday All Things Considered Up First Here & Now NPR Politics Podcast Featured Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! Fresh Air Wild Card with Rachel Martin It's Been a Minute Planet Money Get NPR+ More Podcasts & Shows Search Newsletters NPR Shop Tiny Desk New Music Friday All Songs Considered Music Features Live Sessions The Best Music of 2025 About NPR Diversity Support Careers Press Ethics Speed 'friending' events help platonic pals meet Amid what some researchers call a "friendship recession," a cafe in southeastern Washington hosts "speed friending" -- like speed dating but to find platonic pals. National Speed 'friending' events help platonic pals meet March 30, 20264:40 AM ET Heard on Morning Edition From By Courtney Flatt Speed 'friending' events help platonic pals meet Listen &middot; 3:38 3:38 Transcript Toggle more options Download Embed Embed "> <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/nx-s1-5745922/nx-s1-9708585" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player"> Transcript Amid what some researchers call a "friendship recession," a cafe in southeastern Washington hosts "speed friending" &mdash; like speed dating but to find platonic pals. Sponsor Message LEILA FADEL, HOST: In an increasingly online world, making friends in person can be tough. So a cafe in Washington state is hosting a regular speed friending event, platonic speed dating that will hopefully lead to friendship. Northwest Public Broadcasting's Courtney Flatt takes us there.

+ LAURA FLORES: Hi, I'm Laura. SHINTELL IZQUIERDO: I'm Shintell. Nice to meet you, Laura. FLORES: Nice to meet you, too. COURTNEY FLATT, BYLINE: It's Friday night and Cafe con Arte in Pasco, Washington, is buzzing. About 20 people are waiting for the official speed friending event to start, including Laura Flores and Shintell Izquierdo. IZQUIERDO: I'm here from the Tri-Cities. You come from? FLORES: I'm over in Grandview. So I made the trek up here to make some friends, hopefully (laughter). FLATT: Saul Martinez owns this cafe. And once everyone is seated, he kicks off the event with a question for people to discuss. What's a trivial hill you're willing to die on? SAUL MARTINEZ: So something you can't get over. Like, for me, toilet paper rolls have to go over the top, not under, OK? FLATT: The way it works is once Martinez asks a question, each person has a minute to answer. Then they switch tables. Izquierdo and Flores launch right in. IZQUIERDO: Socks with sandals (laughter). Like, Birkenstock with a white sock. I just can't. FLORES: You know what? IZQUIERDO: That's just not OK (laughter). FLORES: I grew up in the '90s. I'm a '90s kid. And it was so cool to have your socks with your Birkenstocks. IZQUIERDO: OK. FLORES: But now it's so, like, cringe (laughter). FLATT: Martinez says he and his niece decided to start the event after she moved to town and was looking to make new friends. MARTINEZ: Finding one good friend or acquaintance here is really the hope, right? You don't expect to walk away with 17 new friends. FLATT: Some researchers say we're in a friendship recession. Jaimie Krems is a cognitive scientist who directs the UCLA Center for Friendship Research. She says people just aren't spending as much time with friends as they used to. The pandemic played a role, resetting people's habits. They're spending more time at work and at home and are also online more. JAIMIE KREMS: The issue really can be this complete fracturing of the world. And so if I'm in my silo, I'm not going to come across other people. FLATT: People at the speed friending event echoed some of that. Ava Robertshaw says she mostly hangs out with a couple of close friends, which is especially true now that she's taking college classes online. AVA ROBERTSHAW: Honestly, it's easy to isolate, even unintentionally. Like, you can get your groceries delivered and you can work from home. And you can, you know, network and be on social medias to, like, feel the sense of connection. But I don't feel like it actually, like, meets the human, like, need for connection. FLATT: Robertshaw says she craves the sense of community. She tried a dance class but felt like there were unspoken social norms she didn't understand, and that made her feel out of place. On the other hand, speed friending is low stakes. And the rules are clear. ROBERTSHAW: I can struggle sometimes to connect. So I've been pushing myself to, like, find a place that kind of feels like, oh, this could be my place. Maybe some of these people are my people. FLATT: Izquierdo also says it's hard to get out there and meet with people. Her life is so scheduled out with other responsibilities. And she says events like this help. Tonight, she talked with a few people who had similar interests, like history. IZQUIERDO: It was very good for my soul. And to be able to meet new people and be able to have conversations I don't think I would've had otherwise if I wouldn't have come out. FLATT: Martinez says he plans to hold more of these in the future. For NPR News, I'm Courtney Flatt in Pasco, Washington. (SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU") THE REMBRANDTS: (Singing) I'll be there for you. Copyright &copy; 2026 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information. Accuracy and availability of NPR transcripts may vary. Transcript text may be revised to correct errors or match updates to audio. Audio on npr.org may be edited after its original broadcast or publication. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record. 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